The Millennial Horror

The serrated blade bites into the crust slotting into the fluffy guts of the loaf. It brings back delicious memories of this same knife when it used to saw through skin and slice into sweet plump flesh. He pauses to mop away sweat from his brow, dribble from his chin before continuing to prepare brunch.
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Life had been good, excellent in fact, all until the avocados started hatching.
They burst open on counters, in crates, on plates, in pantries, on boats, in hipster’s bags, dumping out tiny bipedal creatures with satin soft fur and disturbingly intelligent eyes.
Smashed avocado on toast was wrenched from brunch menus everywhere and, for millennials, the world became a darker place.
As the creatures continued to wax, humanity’s misguided self entitlement waned. By the time the creatures reached colossal size, humanity was on its knees begging for forgiveness for its folly, for its greed. Sacrifices would be made.
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The front door opens. There is the heavy clack of claw on laminate.
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It turned out that the creatures, Earth’s overlords in waiting, also enjoyed brunch… And irony.
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He picks up the sledge hammer. He clambers onto the kitchen chair. He carefully lays himself on the giant slice of toast. As he makes the final touches to brunch, the kitchen walls are spattered with his blood.

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